Hi friend,

On April 18, Christine gave birth to our beautiful baby boy. It was the single most beautiful and traumatic thing I’ve ever experienced. What was suppose to be a 2 day visit to the hospital with a natural birth, ended up becoming 8 days in the hospital with a lot of complications. But I promise you, this story has a happy ending.

We’ve been home from the hospital for about a week now, trying to realize that this thing that we brought home from the hospital is actually ours. Are we adults now? Are we even qualified to have this responsibility?

Since we didn’t get the start that we had envisioned for these past 9 months, our first time as a family was far from “normal”. Christine wanted to be the one holding and nursing our son, and I would mostly assist her in any way I could. But she couldn’t even sit up in the hospital bed for many days, so I stepped in as both mom and dad.

I was told by other dads that I shouldn’t expect to feel any love for the baby in the beginning. That it will develop in time, when he needs me more. But since I got to be his dad and mom, it actually helped me to create this incredible bond to our son from the very start, a start I think most dads miss out on.

I don’t say it goes for all men, but we tend to put our own emotion to the side. Bury them deep, to focus on what’s more important: to take care of our family. There were so many times at the hospital I told Christine I needed to check on something, or use the toilet as an excuse to go and cry on my own. Because I knew she needed me at my best and as her safe space.

And it’s honestly the most heartbreaking thing in the world to see the one you love being in so much pain and not being able to help, more than to comfort her and whisper that you’re right there by her side.

I was the first to hold our baby boy, and to carry him over to Christine. To lay him against her warm cheek was the proudest I’ve ever felt. To look down on him, then on her, and for the first time seeing our new family.

I can’t put into words how incredibly impressed I am with Christine, what she’s been through, and still is, the strength she has found within herself is something out of this world.

This all sounds very pink and fluffy clouds, but I can honestly say that I have almost lost my shit completely a few times. When you have been through a process like this birth, haven’t slept in a week, and at the same time also trying to grasp that you’re now a dad.

I’ve had to say sorry to Christine several times for my bad patience and really snappy attitude, not exactly something that I’m proud of, but I guess it’s only human?

While we are on the topic of our new family. For the last 5,5 years we have been collecting our drinking water from our pond in front of the cabin, but during summer it dries up, leaving us without water for drinking or bathing. And now when our son has arrived, a reliable water source is now our top priority. So we have launched a crowdfunding campaign to drill a well at our cabin

If you're able to contribute, no amount is too small. Crowdfunding is about many people coming together and giving a little, adding up to something significant in the end ❤

My Top Three

🎦 Series - From

I usually don’t like to watch things that scares me, but this series was just so incredibly good! I reminds me so much of the first time I watched the tv series Lost when I grew up. Christine and I watched the whole show together in just a few days, haha, that’s how good it was!

🎵 Song - Kite (Acoustic)

I’ve been a big fan of both Benjamin and Astrid for many years, and to see them collab in this cozy and beautiful song gives me goosebumps every time!

✒ Quote

“You’ve already achieved goals you said would make you happy.”

Until next time,

Hugs Kalle